Weekend Warrior

If you know me personally, you are (should be by now) aware what my part time job is. 

 Once a month and several weeks a year I find my self waking up at 4am and as Piper calls it.."Getting my work costume on"  Somewhere between wiping the morning crusties out of my eyes, and pulling up to the front gate I scramble to mentally regurgitate the formalities, and try to resurrect memories of the 500 different tasks I am supposed to know how to do as part of my job description.

As usual, there is always lots of briefings and training classes.

On one particular fine morning.. I found myself in a 4 hour long lecture. 

We like to call it.. "Death by Power Point"... because literally.. They are secretly trying to kill us..( i think) 

Basically, we stare at a lot of graphs and statistics.. The speaker takes pride in utilizing all the military jargon in their very best impression of Ben Stein..... (click if you dont know who he is)

So. In a small auditorium-like setting.. I found myself SMACK in the middle of two people.. on two opposing sides of the stink spectrum. You may be wondering to yourself "Whats the big deal?.. is that really blog worthy??" .. UHmmm. Affirmative.   It was four hours of my life that I was tortured, and now you will all share in my misery.

On the one side. The most fragrant smelling female I have ever laid nose upon.  On the other, was a male who didnt stink at all! I was SO relieved.. I leaned into his direction to inhale unscented air, it was awesome. 

And then. .....IT...... happened.   

The presentation was doing a terrific job of making us all very tired. Sooo tired,.... that it provoked a creature nesting inside the mans mouth beside me.. to spontaneously die.  Each time the man yawned, some of the escaping gases seeped out....  it was like an omnipresence .. the only way I could escape it, was to cease all breathing activities. I have to admit, it must have been an amusing sight for the people behind me. It was like I was trying to dodge imaginary bullets.. its entirely likely that the people behind me thought I had ADD or.. bothersome hemorrhoids. 

Either way. Funky smells or no funky smells, I was glad when the presentation was over.